Abusing the generosity of people is definitely something that I see repeatedly, and is unfortunate. For those that realize they are doing it, I find it basically inexcusable. It amounts to them feeling “entitled” to the help, and I won’t stand (or sit and type, as the case may be) for it.

There are others though who may not immediately realize that what they are doing goes beyond what you feel may be reasonable. For those, I try to respond with a simple, respectful note telling them something like; “Sorry, I don’t have the time to be of more specific help for all the problems you are having right now, but there are some great resources at ‘X’, ‘Y’ and ‘Z’ sites that you should check out for more information.”

Again, if it is the type of person who didn’t realize they were pushing things too far, they are usually pleasant, otherwise, you get the nasty response…and those people are the ones who were feeling “entitled” to your help anyway.

I get what you’re saying. I give a great deal. All the pros I respect definitely give a great deal, especially on social sites.

The issue I run into is, while I can’t get on the phone for 5 hours, some think it’s okay to email me many times over with more questions. Some abuse the generosity of others as well. That, as well as those who “expect” the help.

And, you know what? You weren’t doing all that work for free, either. It cost you… time, learning, whatever supplies you needed… it did cost you.

I agree, it’s a very fine line. And, it’s a line most have to draw for themselves and just see how others perceive it.

Anyway, I am just seeing this now! I just wanted to say: well said. You’re on the right track here. I can use myself as an example.

As you know, I give away a TON of knowledge for “free.” I answer questions on forums, I post informative blog entries sharing my experiences and more. I get a lot of questions in private that nobody ever sees that I take the time to answer. I like to help people.

At the same time, much of this “free” knowledge is the same knowledge I make (a little) money for. I received a good sized advance for my book, I get paid to speak at conferences and events, etc. Online community is sort of my bread and butter and, naturally, people ask me questions. I do my best to help them all while also respecting my personal time.

It’s important to set (some) boundaries, like you eluded to, because you do need to live and your goal in life probably isn’t to help people for free, struggle financially and die.

So, for example, can I get on the phone with someone for 5 hours? No. But, can I answer a question via e-mail with a paragraph or two or a link? Yes.

I believe in doing so, you are also doing something for yourself. Helping people builds community – the people who support you and that is how a lot of people have built comfortable businesses. By building community, having a big audience and then getting opportunities because of it. I’m not saying you help people with that in mind, but it’s a side effect.

A simpler way to say it is: if you are good at something, and you demonstrate that you are good at it, and people with money need it, your helping of others can and will come back to you!

For what it’s worth, I’ve always tried to do what I could for the volunteer members of staff on my communities. The first 3 phpBB books were co-written by people that I helped get the book deal for. They offered it to me and I knew I couldn’t do it, so I put them in contact with the people I know who could (both of which were current or former members of the Support Team).

My friend Brandon Eley recently wrote about how old, helpful posts he had made on forums years ago led to a potential client contacting him recently (http://bit.ly/dJfMMA). Again, demonstrating you know something and can kindly communicate it can be a powerful thing.

Thanks for being the great person you are, Brandon!

Sincerely,

Patrick